I hope I get to see my Mommy soon! I miss her soooooo much, but not as much as she misses ME!

Olive

I still really miss my Joo-Mommy. :(

My mom finally picked me up on Monday. My auntie had been babysitting me all week since my mom loves to abandon me for fun trips. I've had it up to HERE with her antics. Despite the fact that I usually don't like Auntie Cystie, I actually got along pretty well with her. Amazingly, I behaved myself!!

Now, I'm just hanging out waiting to take my shot at "accidentally" murdering my mother. Suffocation, tripping her, biting the jugular...so many options!

My mom said, "You smell like NASTINESS!" so I just got a bath. I am not a fan of the process, but now I smell like a fresh little angel.

A FRESH LITTLE ANGEL.

Maybe I'll poop on my mom's face or something now to make up for it.

So last night I decided to attack my mom with love while she was in bed, and I ended up accidentally mauling her face so vigorously that my tongue went up her nose. I think she was grossed out by that.
 

I jumped on my mom's head last night while she was trying to sleep. I like to bite her scalp and hair even though she struggles. I like power cuddles--when my mom is at the computer, I will run up to her and put my front paws on her leg; then she'll pick me up and we'll cuddle for a few minutes.

Power cuddles are the best!

My mom wasn't dressed yet and was soaking wet from the shower, but I made her throw some clothes on (and a hat to hide her ugly wet hair) to take me outside. I was circling the corner to let her know I needed to go.

I POOPED AND TINKLED OUTSIDE. I hate how the grass is right by a major road because perverted human drivers like to watch me go potty. Deviants!

My aunt brought over a play-pen today. She told my mom that it's for when we move and I can stay in it (with a wee-wee pad and my food/water/bed) while my mom is at work. It's to keep me from soiling the new apartment/house since my former owners trained me to go by the door and my mom has been unable to completely break me of this habit.

But I don't trust them. I think they just want to stifle my creativity. Also, I heard my aunt say she bought it for $7 from the Salvation Army. A seven-dollar play-pen? That's just disgusting! I have standards!

I don't know whether to be just offended or offended and vengeful. I already tried to smother my mom the other night, and last night I did my best to bite her ears and head while she tried to sleep. I look cute and cuddly on the outside, but on the inside I have plans. Master plans.

Yesterday, my mom and my aunt decided to groom me. They said I smelled like "Fritos" or something, whatever THAT means. My aunt trimmed my nails because if my mom is in the room, I bite anything and everything I can find. After that, they decided to shave off my lovely black coat. I think they were surprised by how much extra fur I had because my mom was muttering curse words under her breath during clean-up. After I was shaved and trimmed, I received a luke-warm bath. Baths are not my favorite activity, and I make sure I let everyone know that.

This strange human ritual takes place approximately every 3-4 weeks. One day, I will "accidentally" sleep on my mom's face, and then BAM! No more ritual.

One day...